" My..Profanity sure is a bad thing. Do NOT ever try to arrest a Princess, General. Or your proud ass will be dead like the Captain!"
Chapter 1- The Princess Who Was To Be A WarriorEdit
A Celtic Princess named Katarina secretly trained with a Golden Sword.
Katarina: Haah! Take that, Roman scum! Take this!!! (Fires finishing blow on training dummy)
Katarina's best friend/servant, Abelard, stepped in with dinner.
Abelard: (Whispering) Katarina! You know better than to train for the upcoming war selections! You know the penalty! Wait..That sword! Legends told of a woman with a golden sword who saved the Land from Romans! Is the woman..you?
Katarina: Yes, yes Abelard, I know well the penalty.. About my sword.. It speaks.. Anyway, thanks for bringing dinner!
Abelard: You're welcome! (Waving) See ya tomorrow, princess! (Leaves)
Katarina: (Thinking) It's tomorrow..I want to become a warrior.. Why else would the Gods give me such an intricate, beautiful, and rare sword? (Looks at father's war armor) Of course! It's thick, and covers my breasts! And I'd have to cut my hair. (She then proceeds to do all of the things she said and goes to sleep.)
She was dreaming about fighting, and being discovered as a woman when she was injured.
Katarina: I am a woman..
Captain: REMOVE HER HEAD!
General: Let this be an example of those cursed females who dare enter the militia! Arrest her and show those cursed women in the mainland!
Captain: Yes, General.
Abelard: (Breathing hard) Princess! What's the matter, my dear princess?!?!
Katarina: (Sweating) Nothing..Just a bad dream. Good night, Abelard. (She begins to think) Abelard..The mere servant boy. How handsome he is..He's only low class. But there's something about him. (Grabs golden sword) It's like even the Golden Sword knows me and him are meant to be..
Abelard: (Thinking) Katarina..How beautiful you are.. I'm only a servant boy.. You can't take a mere me, plain ol' me! The power of the Gods is locked in me, but Katarina deserves a prince, and she has a destiny as a warrior princess. She shall be, Katarina, Fighter Princess of the Celtic Warriors.
The next day, it was war selections, and the execution of a woman was imminent.
Emperor: Woman! You know better to join the militia. YOU KNOW THE PENALTY!
Woman: (Shaking and stuttering) Y-y-y-yes my empe-empe-emperor! Sp-sp-spare me!!
Emperor: (Evil smirk and sarcasm) How touching! (Loses sarcasm) Remove her head from her neck, and save the blood, I want to taste the blood of those females who dare to join the militia!
Executor: Yes. Get a jar, servant boy! (Refering to Abelard)
Abelard: Okay! (Retrieves the jar) Here's the jar!!!
The executor raises his axe, and removes the crimson red substance you call blood from her veins and puts the blood in the jar.
Emperor: Hear me, people! This (pointing to decapticated woman) woman dared to join the militia. That (pointing to jar) is her punishment. Now, let's begin the war selection. (Sips blood)
Katarina: I volunteer, my emperor!
Throughout the crowd you can hear gasps as they see this scrawny young "boy" attempts to join the militia.
Emperor: (Smirks) You think so, boy? (Pulls sword) Well let's fight it out!
Katarina: Gladly. (Pulls golden sword)
Emperor: My oh my, boy! Where'd you get that sword from? It's made from titanium alloy, the rarest material in this world!
Note: Titanium alloy was from a meteorite that landed in 2000 BC in Germania. There were only one other meteorite that landed, and only 6 swords made from Titanium alloy.
Katarina: The Gods. (Strikes emperor and he falls. Katarina approaches him) Now, no talking while fighting, my beloved Emperor.
Emperor: Well (Stands up and dusts himself off) excellent job, young one.
The emperor selects nine hundred ninety nine more young men to fight against Rome along with the 5,000 other men in the Militia already.
Chapter 2- Life Or DeathEdit
The warriors came against the Roman warriors.
Katarina: Well, what the fuck are we waiting for? CHARGE!!!!
(The roars of 5,999 men and 1 woman charged against the 5000 men of the Romans)
Katarina slays 600 of the Romans. And she finally sights the man who killed her biological father. The Golden Sword's green orb glowed, speaking once more.
Golden Sword: I spot him. FINISH HIM, KATARINA!
Katarina: Shut up! Do you really want to blow my cover? (Jumps high to finish him) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! (DECAPTICATES HIM AND LICKS THE BLOOD OFF THE SWORD) The taste of the enemies blood. How delicious! YES!! I'VE DONE IT!!! (Gets stabbed by Roman soldier in ribcage) Ugh!! Pecan pieeehh (Falls)
Roman Soldier: That's what you get for killing my brother!
General: Pick that soldier up, medic!
Katarina: (Eyes barely open) Where are you taking me?
Medic: To save your life, brave warrior.
(Katarina passes out again)
(The medic removes her armor, only to see what he thought as a man, was a woman. He wrapped her up, and you could see the chest bump <BREAST> on her body.)
Katarina: Ugh..Where am I? My sword! (Feels sword) Oh.. (Feels wraps and feels breast) Did my hair grow back (Feels hair) Yeah.. Wait..SHIT!!
Captain: Do not act like you did not know. State your name, woman!
Katarina: Princess Katarina of the Celtic land.
General: Princess? You fight incredibly. Decimating the Roman army. You forced them to retreat, my princess. (Kisses her hand)
Captain: GENERAL?!??! Hmm..Although you are right, you know the penalty!
General: We can't arrest her! She herself decimated the Roman army!
Captain: Go fuck yourself, if you're not going to arrest her, I AM!
Katarina: (Grabs Golden Sword and kills Captain) My..Profanity sure is a bad thing. Do NOT ever try to arrest a Princess, General. Or your proud ass will be dead like the Captain!
Golden Sword: Abelard.Abelard...Abelard...Abelard..Abelard..ABELARD!! ABELARD!!!
General: (Stepping back) My Princess, your sword! It-it-it-it's ta--
Katarina: Talking? Yes. It's made from Titanium Alloy, and modified by the Gods.
Medic: Am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am-am (The Golden Sword, already filled with blood, hits the Medic and removes his head. You could see his red and blue veins. Katarina has a habit of beheading people)
Katarina: He needed to be shut up.
General: I'll get you a ho---
Katarina: I have my own. Adlara! (A golden horse comes to Katarina, and she goes on her golden saddle) TO CELTICA!
General: Beautiful horse, my Princess.
Chapter 3- The Sword StoryEdit
A few weeks later, Katarina's hair grew back, she was back home.
Katarina: Abelard, my sword..For the past week, it's been calling your name. See, it's doing it right now!
Abelard: There's something I need to tell you..
Katarina: Hmm? What is it?
Abelard: I posess (Pulls out a white orb from his chest) the power of the Sword. It only has effects on your sword, and when it does, the Sword can transform into a human.. It's time to give it to your sword..
Golden Sword: Finally!! (Transforms into a handsome man) Katarina Biermann, my name is Adler. I was once an peasant man living in Celtic Territory. Your stepfather froze me into a sword made of Titanium Alloy. I was frozen in a block of dirt and grass. Untill I saw you. I fell in love with you, and I waited.. So long I waited.. Until Abelard served you, I waited no longer today.
Katarina: How handsome you are.. It must've been hell living life as a sword!
Adler: True..Where were you all my life?
Katarina: I don't know, where were you?
Adler: Trapped as a sword..
Abelard: FUCK YOU ADLER! YOU..YOU..YOU..BACKSTABBING MOTHER FUCKER!! YOU TOOK MY GIRL! SON OF A BITCH!!
Abelard continued his profane shouting for the whole day..
(The Next Day)
Katarina: Good morni- (Sees Abelard above her) Abelard! What are you doing here? State your business!
Abelard: Come to me.. (Grabs Katarina)
Katarina: Ugh! Let me go!!
Adler: OH NO YOU DON'T! (Kills Abelard, becuase he still has a sword for a hand)
Katarina: ABELARD!!!! (Tears form in her eyes and she looks at Adler) You son of a bitch! Killing this boy I've known my whole life!! I've only known you for a day!
Adler: It's for your own good sake.
Katarina: (Charges at Adler only to get struck in the heart and falls) I...thought..you..loved..me.. Fu--(Dies)
Adler: (Angry look at Katarina and steals her heart) DAMMIT! I LET MY FEAR RUN MY BODY!
Fear: Adler..You are afraid of everyone's capabillities..That their stronger than you..Let me run you, love, so we can wreak havoc!
Adler: Yes, Fear. My name shall be..WREAK HAVOC! I'll eat the hearts of every being in Celtica! (Munching on Katarina's heart) Yummy!!
Adler eats all of the hearts of everyone in Celtica. He dies in 150 BC of cancer. HAPPY ENDINGS!