Hello fellow earthlings. Now that we have over 45 articles I started mah own reviews. Only doing what you said ESSJ4. These reviews are only my opinion. If you get a bad review I am not trying to be mean. That only means that you have to get better. LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW FOR REQUESTS.
Life Of A Son
- It is about Broly and Paragus after Planet Vegeta
- Good grammar and spelling
- I like the beginning telling about Broly's immense power
- Its kinda weird to keep calling your king King Vegeta. For example, instead of saying 'King Vegeta' over and over again you could say 'My king' or 'Sire'.
- The short story overview pretty gave the plot away.
- Start new paragraphs when a person is gonna say something.
Final Comments- Good story with some flaws. Between 6/10 and 7/10
Prison Diary- Prologue
- I like the concept of the story.
- Good grammar and spelling.
- Good description.
- You did a good job saying what they did in pretrial jail.
- Why is everything in italic?
- HAHA! Now, let me stop being immature, please. I dont know what it is, but I just don't like that sentence.
- Start a new paragraph when a person is gonna say something.
Final Comments- Very good story. 7/10
Dragon Ball:super duper maity
- Horrible grammar :)
- Oh no! Maity iss an saiyen hoo used hiss superrr powers to escape planit vageeta.
- But Maity land on earth with his pett owul Betvet.
- Captin America having a power level of 73857382758235723jh2385875187!
- maity turned super saiyan 17.
- I love the concept of this story.
- captin amerca went super saiyan 8.
- maity usd hisspowes and boom captin amecs died.
- I LOVE THE SENTENCE ABOVE THIS ONE.
- No friking capitalization...
- maity so exsited he turn EVEL!!!DEN DAY CLOMED.
- My favorite section was FUSIN SAVES DAY.
- He tried to kill buu 60328413854238758237582758 times in 1 minute.
- Ginyu Force.
- Dr. Gero.
- Cooler looks like a hybrid of Cooler and King Cold.
- Majin Maity.
- I would have really liked to know what was going on.
Final Comments- This was... beautiful! A masterpiece. Best comedy story i have eva read besides DBKC. 10/10.
Kuzon the 3rd legendary super saiyan
- TitaniumBardock deleted it.
- The grammar is bad.
- The spelling is kinda bad.
- The Legendary Super Saiyan is supposed to appear every 1000 years.
- Kuzon- That name- What is it a pun off of?
- The chapter names are TOO DAMN LONG.
- The Snake Saga was the worst saga of them all.
- Seriously? The villain is a snake?
- All the saga names are lame.
Final Comments- Not to be mean or anything, but this sucked. 2/10
Pokemon Last Stance
- You started a new paragraph when someone talked! Thats an accomplishment.
- Decent grammar.
- Horrible spelling.
- I don't get the concept of this story.
- Does it even have a story concept?
- The plot is this: Death defeats Ash's Pokemon so Ash keeps using more Pokemon to try to beat him.
- "You Monster"sreamed Ash. That is an example of a bad sentence. No emotion, you spelt 'screamed' wrong.
- I hate Pokemon. (This won't affect your score.
Final Comments- Well, at least this is better than your Dragon Ball fan-fictions, cuz they sucked. 3/10
Prison Diary- A Cell Is Not A Home
- I love how you explain how HORRIBLE it is in prison.
- Great spelling.
- Good grammar.
- I love the idea of this story.
- Leah is the name of my 4 year old cousin. :)
- START NEW PARAGRAPHS WHEN YOU TALK.
- Did you finish it or not?
Final Comments- Better than your first one, I liked it alot. 8/10
- I love Marvel.
- I also love all the events in the five year gap for Spider Man Unleashed.
- You included lots of Marvel Superheroes.
- I like the gallery.
- Love the concept. Very cool.
- My favorite one is Spider Man Unleashed.
Final Comments- I like this alot. The idea of this is very good and cool and solid. Very nice. 8.5/10
Spider Man (Earth-415)
- It explains lots about Peter Parker's life.
- Lots of detail.
- VERY descriptive.
Final Comments- Another one of ExtremeSSJ4's good pages that I liked. Well done. 8.5/10
- Spider-man gets a unknown chemical causing him to attract multiple women from the marvel universe, will he conquer this latest task or be smothered by various females.
- EVERYBODY KEEPS HAVING SEX WITH PETER.
- You turned Spider-Man into a character for adults.
- You REALLY described the sex scenes.
- EVERYBODY KEEPS HAVING SEX WITH PETER.
- Too much sex man.
- FIVE PEOPLE.
- Explain more about the chemical.
- "Agh, it burns, CRAP IT BURNS. HELP, AHH. FUCK THIS BURNS"
Final Comments- Not as good as ESSJ4's other stories. 6/10
Spider-Girl: Rise Of A Hero (Volume 1)
- Very descriptive.
- I love the fight scene between Jack and Gene in the beginning.
- I also love the part where Gene opens the locker and the Granny Panties pile out onto his face.
- Very good grammar.
- Very good spelling.
- "OH MY GOOD...IT BURNS!"
- You...You...You shmuck!
- Flash got married to Felicia and had a two kids named Gene and Felicity, but then Flash and Felicia divorced.
- Jack's dad dying is kinda cliche.
- Jack becoming a Super Hero is also cliche.
Final Comments- I enjoyed reading this. Keep it up SSJ3A. 8.8/10